I’m hoping the Oshkosh Common Council keeps its marijuana possession fine debate going for another two months–as the people who come before them in support of the drug are far more entertaining than those that come to complain about special assessments on their property. Last night, Mayor Steve Cummings warned those signed up to speak to the Council that discussion could only focus on amending the fine for possession–not for full-on legalization of marijuana in Oshkosh. So how does the very first person to step up the podium start their comments? “I’m here to encourage the city to legalize the possession of marijuana”.
Anyway, I think I have a way to flip the demand for legalized marijuana 180-degrees and get its most-ardent supporters to turn against it: put the power of Corporate America to work. If you want to nip legalized pot in the bud (pun intended) allow big businesses to get involved and start making huge profits. Let Archer-Daniels-Midland plant millions of acres of weed. Grant Monsanto patents on dozens of strains of the plants that are drought and pest-resistant. Have Bristol-Meyers-Squibb corner the market on medicinal marijuana products. Approve herbicides developed by Dow Chemical to treat pot fields. Sell low-cost marijuana products produced by RJ Reynolds over the counter at places like WalMart and Walgreens. We could even allow the giant marketing firms to create cute advertising campaigns that make you think smoking dope is the coolest thing that any human can do. And then make sure to publicize the BILLIONS of dollars of profit those corporations are making from the newly-legalized “industry”.
I can guarantee that as soon as marijuana becomes “big business” the people who circulate the petitions and attend the council meetings and organize the rallies on college campuses will immediately become the most vocal opponents of pot. Suddenly, all of the “medical studies” will show that medicinal marijuana really doesn’t do anything for you–and that the drug companies are lying about its effectiveness just to get people to buy it. The effects of using commercial pot products will be questioned as “corporate greed” will take priority over “public safety”. Eventually, states will be encouraged to sue marijuana producers for “marketing a product they knew was addictive to an unsuspecting public”.
So long as marijuana is grown on boutique, organic farms and sold in cool little dispensaries by “independent distributors” it can be supported by liberals. But as soon as it becomes a cash crop and the “wrong people” are profiting off of it–pot will become a “danger to society” and should be highly-regulated by the Government again. In the meantime, those of us not blowing our budget on buds can reap the profits by investing in “Big Pot” companies.
