When I was a kid, I never brought treats to school on my birthday. It wasn’t because my family couldn’t afford treats. It wasn’t because my mother worked three minimum wage jobs and didn’t have time to bake. It wasn’t because my family didn’t celebrate birthdays for cultural or religious reasons, and it wasn’t because my mother feared killing another child with severe allergies. I never brought a treat on my birthday because I was born on July 30th–in the middle of summer vacation.
I never thought it was unfair that I couldn’t bring treats for my friends–many of whom did have birthdays during the school year. I never had to go to school on my birthday, so we could go to Brewers games or a rental cottage, or Bay Beach to celebrate. And none of my classmates poked fun at me for never being a treat-giver. Nor can I remember anyone I went to school with being ridiculed for “low-quality” birthday treats–or for not bringing anything at all on their birthday. When I was a kid, there was no expectation of special treatment–and to be perfectly honest, I don’t think I even knew most of my classmates’ birthdays.
Now let’s fast forward to modern day America, where birthday treats are considered to be “micro-agressions”. The Appleton School District told parents this week that bringing food from home to share with others is now banned. Appleton is not unique in this policy, a growing number of districts are doing it too. And it likely would have met little backlash if their stated reason for it was left at “An increasing number of kids have food-related allergies and digestive problems that make bringing food from home not labeled with all ingredients that has been approved by our nutritional specialists increases the risk for health issues–so please don’t send your child to school with food to share.”
But the Appleton School District had to go several steps farther and make the ban on birthday treats also about “social justice”. Little did we know that cupcakes and cookies promulgate “inequity in the classroom”. If there is one child in the school whose parents may not be able to afford a box of cake mix, they must not be made to “feel bad” about it. The notice to parents also notes “cultural differences” in the student body. Again, if there is one child in the school whose cultural heritage does not mark birthdays with celebrations, they cannot be expected to witness children of a different cultural heritage celebrating. And then my favorite reason for banning birthday treats from school, it “reduces a source of comparison in the classroom.” Are children really not supposed to compare themselves to other kids? Are we now going to provide lift shoes for short kids or force tall kids to slouch so everyone is the same height? And if comparison in the classroom is such a distraction, why are public schools so dead set against uniforms? Not much to compare when everyone is dressed the same is there?
Here’s a suggestion for the next school district planning to ban birthday treats, or candy sales for the band or even allowing kids to bring their own lunches from home–spare everyone the “social justice” reasoning (in your minds you can justify it that way) and just say “Your kids are too fat already”. Because that is a message more parents need to hear already.
