Now that we have had the “March For Science”, can we hold a few more marches to address other things people should know?
We can start with the “March For Punctuation, Spelling and Grammar”. In this march, all protest signs will feature complete sentences–along with proper use of commas and apostrophes. Our chants will explain the proper use of prepositions–including the differences between “of”, “from”, “with” and “to”. The march will end with people telling their personal stories of overcoming their habitual misuse of “two”, “to” and “too” as well as “there” and their”.
Next we could have the “March For Drivers’ Education”. In this one we would demand that those who don’t know how to navigate roundabouts be immediately removed from the road. That anyone over the age of sixty be tested for driving ability on an annual basis–with those over eighty required to pass an on-the-road test every six months. Of course, this it the march where we are most likely to be hit by someone driving around the barricades while drunk behind the wheel.
Then we need the “March For Economics”. Here we draw attention to the unsustainable practice of governments spending more than they raise in revenues. We explain how making it harder and more expensive to produce items in your country leads to greater dependence on imported goods. And we point out that taking on tens of thousands of dollars in debt for college degrees in fields that don’t pay you enough to cover your basic costs of living and what you owe on the loans is financial suicide. Maybe we’ll have a big credit card cut up before we all go home as well.
And finally, we can hold the “March For Political Science”. In this one, basic tenets of the US Constitution and the electoral process take center stage. Speakers can explain that there is no “Right to health care” or “freedom from fear” anywhere in the Constitution. A Supreme Court Justice could point out to Bill Nye “The Science Guy” that a phrase in the patent protection clause of the Constitution does not mean the Government is required to pay for all science projects and the arts. And of course, the march would not be complete without a recap of how the Electoral College works and why we use that to elect our President.
We’ve got a lot of marching to do–better get a pair of comfortable shoes.
